Did OkCupid work well for you

Tinder and Co: Dating apps put to the test

I've been single for three and a half years. During this time I thought more than once of getting a cat out of loneliness. Not that I'm really lonely, but short-lived chattels, senseless sex dates and frustrating ghosting eventually spark a certain desire for stability in a relationship. Of course, I realize that great love is not just at the door like a GIS controller. Therefore (and so that my mom no longer has to ask me when I will finally bring someone home) I tried to find the man for at least a little longer on four dating apps. Try it yourself so you don't have to do it! I'll start with Tinder, whether of notoriety something like the Kim Kardashian under the dome platforms. Then on to Once, where they supposedly focus on quality instead of quantity. At Okcupid, personality and inner values ​​should count instead of appearance. And finally Grindr, the dating app for gay men. I was registered for a month, swiped through the profiles and tested the offers. But read for yourself.


In the app that revolutionized dating, you leaf through photos, supposedly inspiring sayings - and wipe potential partners away like dirt from their eyes. Most profiles are interchangeable; mountaineering and the gym have become substitutes for personality. Even if you match, there is seldom a real conversation. Usually it stays on the basis of "Hi", "Hey", "How are you?" I tell you what I did during the day and ask back. A "good" answer, the conversation is over. AHA OK. So it's match after match, it makes you tired and depressed. Am i not interesting enough Too exhausting, too cautious? When I had my first matches in 2014, it was still different: I got into conversation with almost everyone, some became Gspusis or friends. Today hardly anyone wants a meeting - most of them refer to Instagram, where they want to collect followers. Shortly before the end of my experiment, I look back one more time and swipe through my matches from the last month. Then I discover David. His name is actually different, he is a WU student, blond and 25. We meet in one fell swoop, my only Tinder match that I actually meet. The evening is fine, we discuss music and his encounter with an astrologer. I am open, loud, dominant - the way I really am. You don't want to be naked, you want to overcompensate. Nothing happens. We chat days later and arrange a second date, which has not yet taken place. From both sides it doesn't seem to be really urgent to see each other again.

USER: 57 million worldwide

FUNCTIONALITY: The app suggests profiles. If you like one, swipe right, if not, swipe left. The search can be narrowed down by age, distance and gender. Space for nine pictures.





The second app is for people who have an incredible amount of time and no problem with spending longer time as a single (sorry, no shaming!). But let's start at the beginning: According to his own statements, Once wants to give dating back the "quality". Instead of constantly firing users with new single offers, only one profile per day is suggested. If you give a "no", it takes 24 hours before the chance of a new dream partner picks up. What should suggest exclusivity and choice is above all: zero stimulating. After a few days of testing, a faint premonition looms: Once is something like Tinder recycling! Here you can find those who were unsuccessful there and with comparable apps over a long period of time and are now living their end of year longing here. Why you should find a partner here and with this method remains a mystery to me. But well, this virtual club of the leftover hearts may resemble a real one, where even around six o'clock in the morning everything that still stumbles across the dance floor comes together. Once in my month-long test, it is the app that I deleted first. I have not written to anyone, nor have I been contacted. All of this is definitely well meant, there are sure to be nice people here. Nevertheless, my conclusion is negative: Make something better out of your lifetime. Go for a walk. Staring at the sun. Phoned your mother. The dating process is masochistic enough that you don't have to waste your time unnecessarily.

USER: 6 million worldwide

FUNCTIONALITY: A single (!) Profile is proposed every 24 hours. In addition, you can rate profiles so that the algorithm learns better who and what you find attractive.





In the test, OkCupid turns out to be the drunk aunt among the dating apps - so comparable to the person who is rather reluctant to invite to family celebrations. At first it is fun to talk to her, but at some point it becomes exhausting (especially since she throws unpleasant truths into your head). To explain: Okcupid works a little differently than the other apps. Every user has to answer umpteen questions when registering. "Are you open to an open relationship?", "May your partner like raisins?". On the basis of these apparently deep psychological revealing answers, Okcupid calculates with whom one is harmonizing. Several men have been suggested to me with a match of over 90 percent. But none of them interested me. Why? Even if it sounds superficial: You can humanly harmonize 100 percent, if the other person looks like a potato, then it won't work. In addition, the agreement value actually says nothing about whether the chemistry can be right. It is more of an impetus for the first conversation. With a match, I talked about games for two messages, then it was over. So much for things in common. Nevertheless, there is one plus point: the questionnaire holds up a mirror to you. Because you think about what you want. Or what not. I don't want my partner to do drugs. I don't care if he takes a shower in the morning or in the evening - and yes, maybe I want to start a family. For that reason alone, it pays off to give the platform a chance.

USER: 6 million worldwide

FUNCTIONALITY: In contrast to the other dating apps, a test has to be completed here first. On the basis of this "psychogram", partners with a high degree of agreement are then suggested.





They say about Grindr that this is the quickest place to find a sex date. And fact: I had the most rendezvous here (please don't judge me!). On the app, where you can get a dick pic faster than saying "Hi, how are you?" can tap, users who are in the vicinity are displayed. So you know that the closest gay man is 130 meters away and that an orgy is probably taking place 469 meters away. Grindr takes Tinder's superficiality to extremes: every second profile photo shows a bare headless torso. Values ​​like abdominal muscles and size (not body) count here. A chat is often initiated with the word "fun" or "lust". Punctuation marks? Superfluous! Grindr is fast, very direct, sometimes gritty, but successful. Do you want sex? You will find somebody. Harmless small talk leads to conversations about fetishes (the uncensored version). A date with a 21-year-old student shows me that Grindr users also end up looking for closeness - but only find it in sex dates. One of the problems of our generation is that no one gets emotionally involved anymore. What do I have left of Grindr other than quick satisfaction? A guy I now snap online with regularly. At first I found his request strange, but I've been asked stranger things here. The first Bummerl went to me, since then I've lost every game. We write to each other now and then, a schnapps duel in real life has been agreed. It is not so certain whether it will really come to that. Until then, hundreds of sent Dickpics will pass.

USER: 27 million worldwide

FUNCTIONALITY: Shows all active users within a certain radius. In the basic version there are 100 profiles. Annoying users can be blocked. Sexual preferences and HIV status can be specified in the profile.




(Kevin Recher, 4.1.2020)

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