Why does it feel good to be needed
Why we want to help others all the time
Even children try it: They take care of the “cold” doll in their bed, cook for their cuddly toy family and rescue needy animals that they find on the street.
Everyone likes to help. Helping makes us feel needed.
Why we want to help
When we are needed, we feel important. We feel a purpose and a need for why we are there. Sometimes even so much that we help, even if it comes at the expense of our own well-being. Our friend is moving, so we're helping with the move - and postponing the date for our important job offer. Our sister has had a child, so we take vacations to help out even when we are overwhelmed with our own daily lives.
We sacrifice ourselves and feel selfless in all of this. We do it like little martyrs and feel good despite our own hardships. We want to help because we feel responsible. The closer someone is to us, the more our sense of responsibility towards them increases. The closer someone is to us, the greater the urge to help and to want to make great sacrifices.
The feeling of being irreplaceable is wonderful. It's like a kick that many of us need over and over again. A kick that can harm us and often prevents us from doing our own important tasks.
Sometimes we also want to help because we are afraid. With our own willingness to help, we excuse our own failures, fears and lack of courage. Some help because they don't want to be alone, because they have no one to share their joys with, or because they are afraid of the unknown.
Instead of seizing their own opportunities and using their free time, they are grateful for every hour that they can spend longer at work or with a nagging friend.
We can't save everyone
Should we help others if we can? Absolutely. But we should also have the wisdom to recognize our limits. We can only help people who really want it and are ready to do it.
We should never stop sharing our love with others. However, our life is not meant to be a doormat for scroungers, losers, babblers, energy vampires or users.
There are people who are not at peace with themselves and who cannot understand themselves or others in difficult situations. Many do not take good advice because they need something no one can give them: discovery and understanding. We cannot help anyone who does not help himself.
"Love thy neighbor as thyself"
We all want to help other people. However, it is impossible to help others when your own energy has already been used up. We can only help others if we are strong enough and can give away some of our own strength.
Being a good person has nothing to do with allowing others to destroy us. Love your neighbor as yourself includes love for yourself. We shouldn't forget to think about ourselves. There are Limits. No matter how much we want to help someone, sometimes we have to learn to let go. We cannot save people from themselves.
We should help for all the right reasons. Not for the ego, for the record or because it's a great excuse - but from the heart. We can best help others when we are strong ourselves.
Happiness is not a coincidence
Happiness and contentment are a matter of attitude and thought patterns. The Amazon bestseller Love and Happiness is one of those books that you won't put away for a lifetime. The motivating stories, thought patterns and suggestions are inspiring and encouraging. Truth lies in simplicity. The strength lies in simplicity.
About the book: Love and Happiness: In everything we do, love is the key
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