How does your kindness affect your life

Friendliness: Are you also nice?

"A friendly word doesn't cost anything and yet it is the most beautiful of all gifts." Daphne du Maurier once said. How good that the writer has not lived to see the age of the Internet. Because friendliness seems to be a dying species. Now it is not new that in forums or comment threads there is seldom a nice or appreciative tone.

What is irritating, however, is that it is quite unfriendly even where people - in theory - work very actively on their inner attitudes: in an online yoga studio. In this very place I looked at the sample snacks from various videos. I read through the comments and rubbed my eyes in amazement. It was announced quite harshly that one could not do much with the voice or the charisma of certain teachers. Or complains that such sloppy yoga pants would be a no-go. The unorthodox yoga class of an even more unorthodox teacher was immediately condemned in a big way. The only thing missing was the question of what “someone like that” was actually doing on the yoga mat.

Everyday life eats friendliness?

This is strongly reminiscent of the story of the yogi who hid somewhere in the highlands of Tibet to work with a guru. After a few weeks in which he felt like a new person due to the intensive meditation and yoga practice, he left. On the way to the airport, he ran into the taxi driver he already knew from his arrival. Only the driver suddenly asked for a multiple of the price that he had collected on the way there for the same journey. The yogi promptly fell out of his cloud of peacefulness and got caught up in a heated discussion. Note: It is often everyday life that gets in the way and who stifles the spark of friendliness in the bud.

Friendly? Can I.

As a result, it is everyday life that offers an exciting learning environment. Because the following applies both online and offline: A little more friendliness is almost always possible, then it also works with other people. At least with many.

  • From human to human

    We forget a lot in everyday stress. Sometimes even that our fellow human beings are human too. People with their own worries and needs. Ever since I keep reminding myself I take it less personally. If I am not aware of any guilt, I put an unfriendly face or a rude reaction on myself less often and leave the unkindness where it belongs: with the person opposite.

  • Advice is also a blow

    Especially when they are served uninvited and with a know-it-all attitude. Nobody likes to be taught or criticized - especially not in front of spectators. Those who constantly throw around "good" advice or peddle criticism packaged as feedback make few friends. That is not to say that we now have to flatter or lie. But ifour advice is not solicited and there is no life-threatening situation, then we may be silent sometimes.

  • Silence is golden.

    It may be that the talent show age has spoiled us a little in this regard. For the quota, the protagonists are constantly slammed in the head what others think of them. The nastiest comment gets the most laughs. It is evaluated, judged and judged. This is - surprise - not a real life strategy. Contrary to popular belief, it is too no sign of sincerity or authenticity when we peddle our opinions all the time. Often it is just an expression of a lack of tact and sensitivity. No expression is required andif no one has asked us for our opinion, we can confidently remain silent. Even if it's difficult.

  • To vent the anger

    Sometimes friendliness dictates that something should not be done. This is especially true in situations in which we want to vent our anger (whether justified or not). It may be liberating for a moment to really blow the march on our counterpart - but there is not much to be gained. In the worst case, we make such an enemy for life. Even justified anger gets better so packed up, that our counterpartdoes not reflexively adopt the defensive stance and can take a step towards us - without losing face.

Friendliness is not a one-way street

This is not meant to be an invitation to just let the others get away with their unkindness and to always make a good face to the rude game. But maybe we just keep in mind that we all want to be treated in a respectful and friendly manner. And that it is precisely those who grumble the worst who need our friendliness most. Bearing in mind the opening words of Daphne du Maurier, it may be worthwhile if we occasionally lead by example and be friendly. Just because. We can then still show our teeth.

Photo credits: iStock.com/adrian825