Why is it important to process grief

take farewell

Topic overview

take farewell

What does saying goodbye mean?

To say goodbye to a deceased person means to take the Accept death got to. It's a different way of saying goodbye than the one we know from everyday life. We say goodbye to a person who has passed away and who has left a void in our lives. Often the farewell takes place in the form of a memorial service.


How can I deal with the grief?

After a death, it is difficult for you as the bereaved to cope with the loss. Coping with grief is only possible in small steps. It may take months before you can begin to say goodbye. So don't put yourself under pressure. You can do several things to help you process your grief Assistance which are adapted to your individual needs. In conversations with other relatives or professional grief counselors, you have the opportunity to learn to deal with grief and to let go. The aim is that you gain new courage to face life and look ahead.

A difficult task

How can I say goodbye?

Saying goodbye to someone important is a conscious act. You should allow an intensive examination of the life and death of humans. Without this processing, you will hardly be able to understand that your loved one will not return. The Visit to the funeral can be the first big step for you to say goodbye. The memorial service and the funeral make it clear that a death is the end of a life. Young people should therefore also be taken to funerals so that they can accept the death of a loved one.

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Who can help me in my grief?

The first step in getting help saying goodbye is to speak to your friends and loved ones. People you trust can be good Interlocutor be who understand or share your pain. The feeling of not being alone, but of being caught by your own environment, has an extremely supportive effect and can give you a feeling of security. As a rule, this support is sufficient for the mourning work. But if the pain of the loss persists and there has been no change in your emotional state even after many months, you should seek professional help.

Professional support

Should I get professional help?

If, even after months, the grief is still so great that it is difficult for you to return to a regular everyday life, you should get professional support. Grief counselors and grief psychologists are good contacts in such a situation. Through their training, they have learned what phase of grief you are currently in and can help with various methods. Grief counselors offer seminars and individual counseling in which you can speak openly about your state of health. If you need some time off, you can also embark on a grief journey and work with other bereaved relatives to come to terms with the grief.

Coping with grief

What are the different phases in coping with grief?

The forms of coping with grief are different for each person. Usually the overcoming of grief is done in several, mostly four phases structured. The first phase is immediately after death. They don't want it to be true that the death has occurred. As a relative, especially in the case of unexpected deaths such as an accident, you stand next to yourself and find yourself in a kind of paralysis.

The second phase can occur a few hours or days after the first. In this the emotions are revealed. During this time they are often restless and experience despair, anger, anger and are plagued by the question of why. The phase can last weeks, months or even years - depending on how close your relationship was to the deceased and how much you allow your own feelings.

In the third phase you gradually understand the changed situation. For you, the dead person is a kind of inner companion with whom you share memories and conduct dialogues.

In the last phase you have slowly accepted the death and are starting to take control of your own life again. Grief is no longer omnipresent. The course of the phases can also contain regression and in the later times you will have emotional moments or times of sadness as a bereaved. Memories, for example through pictures or music, can evoke them.

Say goodbye and remember

Can I say goodbye but not forget the deceased?

Saying goodbye to a loved one is a process that does not end with the memorial service or the farewell at the burial site. Every day you have to adapt to a changed everyday life and say goodbye to familiar and accustomed processes. Talking to your relatives or friends can help with this process. In addition, anecdotes and stories about the deceased or shared experiences keep the memories alive. Pictures and videos of the loved one can also do this. An often used saying in obituaries says that only he who is forgotten is really dead. The memories make people live on.

Say goodbye online

What are the free options?

As a relative, you also have the opportunity to say goodbye on the Internet. On different commemorative sites such as, for example, RuheInFrieden.de, you can place an obituary notice on the first day of death. This reminds of the dead and is an opportunity for you and other bereaved families to commemorate the deceased with a saying or a song. This service is free on most sites. In order to exchange ideas with other survivors, you can also register in so-called mourning forums. In particular, if the deceased is a child, the parents often seek advice from other affected persons. Talking to other parents can help deal with the painful loss and come to terms with death.

Author: Annika Wenzel - Image source: © C. Sollmann / Bestattungen.de

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