What is important to be yourself

Be authentic: find yourself in 6 steps

How can I be authentic? Find yourself in 6 steps.

Would you like to tell other people your opinion more often, but don't dare? Would you like to just have a say in a discussion and say what you think, but you don't? Do you choose your clothes based on what others think about them instead of what you are comfortable with? Then now is a good time to work on your authenticity.

Be completely yourself, then you will be authentic. Easier said than done, because if it weren't for these inner barriers that prevent us from doing so, we could long ago walk through life more freely. Of course, it is hardly possible to snap a finger and be authentic straight away. But with these 6 steps you can slowly get closer to yourself and question what actually prevents you from simply being you:


1st step: get to know yourself

Self-knowledge is an important basis for authenticity. Who are you? What are you feeling? What do you think? You can only be authentic when you know your own values, needs, emotions and thoughts. You should also consider in which situations you are not authentic and why. Analyze yourself and be absolutely honest with yourself. Admit your weaknesses and accept them. For example, a good way to find yourself is through mindfulness. With little exercises you will slowly regain a feeling for how you are doing and what is important in life.

Step 2: say what you think

What is actually stopping you from expressing your thoughts freely? Others do that too. So there seems to be a barrier within you that is holding you back. Often it is the fear of rejection that keeps us silent, even though we would really like to express our opinion. Such fears can usually be traced back to childhood or adolescence experiences. But today you are an adult and you have every right to express yourself. You are also very well able to counter the reactions to your opinion with good arguments. Free yourself from inner barriers, dare to stand by yourself. So that you can finally talk freely in the next discussion or in conversation with the boss.

Step 3: Overcome your fears

Too often the fear of failure or being laughed at keeps us from being authentic. Likewise, possible consequences can be a hindrance. What do the others think when I say / do that? Don't my friends like me anymore, if I'm honest? Do I lose my job if I talk openly to the boss? If such fears keep you from being yourself, there are a few more questions you should ask yourself in the next step. If my friends don't want to hear my honest opinion, are they real friends? If I always have to pretend at work and eat the frustration into me, is that the job I want to do for years to come?

Step 4: ignore other people's opinions

There are people in our lives whose opinion is important to us. We even specifically ask about them in order to be able to make better decisions. These are close friends and family members whose honesty we consider valuable. But what about strangers on the street or with colleagues we only meet in meetings every few months? You can safely ignore their opinion about your appearance or your opinion. What do they think of you? No matter. Keep this in mind whenever you find yourself taking back your own personality just to please others. In a next step, you can "sort out" in the immediate vicinity who you no longer want to disguise yourself from. Because you will quickly notice that it is not bad to be yourself.

Step 5: Observe yourself

You have decided to finally express your opinion at the next meeting. When the time comes, however, you shouldn't watch how the others react, but how you feel about yourself. Have you found it difficult to speak openly? Were you scared? Or do you even feel liberated?

Step 6: Make conscious decisions

You are now well on the way to being yourself. But there are actually situations in which an honest opinion is inappropriate. Here you have to decide, because it can also be quite authentic to consciously keep your honest opinion to yourself. If you think the truth may hurt a friend's feelings, you are being authentic by caring for them and preferring to keep them to yourself. That is why it is so important that you become clear about your values.

If you don't tell your boss in the face that he is a failure on a human level, that is also a wise decision. Because being authentic does not mean having to tell the truth at every opportunity that presents itself. After all, it doesn't make sense if you harm yourself with it or hurt others deeply. Rather try to align your private life and your job in the long term so that you don't have to bend over again.

You can practice being authentic

Just try to be authentic more often. Once you have recognized when you are not authentic, why that is and what you want to change about it, you can carry out small test runs. Maybe you buy the beautiful pink sweater that you like so much instead of the inconspicuous gray one that nobody can say anything about. Suggest a place to your colleagues instead of just joining them during your lunch break. Get more actively involved in discussions with friends. Every step, no matter how small, will get the ball rolling and be a great liberation for you.