When does fear overcome reason?
Methatesiophobia: The fear of success
There really is such a thing as that Fear of success. It has nothing to do with being afraid of the risks or mistakes that inevitably accompany you on this path. Rather, it is that Methatesiophobia, the Fear of changethat comes with it and the worry of not being satisfied despite everything ...
➠ Content: This is what awaits you
➠ Content: This is what awaits you
How does the fear of success arise?
Let's look at that mechanism more precisely.
Those who are successful are applauded and noticed, they rise in reputation and hierarchy. For many it is a wonderful one idea.
At the same time, however, it also sets them vacuum: A success is not a success. With every triumph, your own demands on yourself as well as external expectations increase.
- How long will you withstand it and satisfy can?
- Maybe come too Downsides to the light?
What was previously sufficient in terms of know-how may no longer be sufficient. Old, cherished habits have to be abandoned and new ones trained.
Success may even fix you - on a topic, a role. And what about time: will there be enough left for private life, for family, for fun?
3 reasons why you shouldn't be afraid of making mistakes
- Growth. Most people are afraid of making mistakes - also because others might criticize or laugh at them for doing so. But the scoffers are fools who don't know any better. Mistakes and the experiences from them let us grow personally. No artist, no artist, no athlete, not even a blogger who did not make umpteen mistakes - until the championship.
- Empathy. Mistakes make you more social. On the one hand, they make us more gracious to the mistakes of others (because we are not infallible ourselves) - on the other hand, they ensure that we can empathize better with others because we have already gone through what they are going through. In addition, past mistakes help to be able to give those affected up-to-date pragmatic recommendations.
- Resilience. What doesn't kill us makes us strong, is a well-known bon mot. And it's true: mistakes not only lead to more wisdom (because then at least we know how it doesn't work), they make us emotionally stronger. And when we find out for ourselves that no defeat can keep us down, we also learn that we are bigger than we thought. Mistakes also strengthen self-confidence.
Success eats up its children - a legitimate fear?
Anyone who is halfway sensible knows Success is a fragile thing. He is only too happy to eat his own children.
The higher one rises, the more deeper can he fall. And the more lonely he will.
During the ascent, there are not only friends and fans who stand by and treat you - there are too Enviouswho try to spoil what has been achieved and wait for mistakes.
It's harder to stay at the top than to get there.
All of these doubts can keep people away from it dreamto finally write a book, start your own business or become famous. But they don't dare to take the first step. The future is too uncertain, too chaotic, too dangerous for them.
And the consequences may be demanding Consequencesthat you cannot estimate. The longer you think about it, the bigger the monster you imagine becomes.
The psychology of fear
Millions of streams every second Sensory stimuli on people. We consciously perceive only a fraction of it. Which - our brain decides. Due to evolution, it primarily filters those Stimuli out that for our to survive are important. The most important thing is stimuli that signal danger. This is the only way we can react as quickly as possible in dangerous situations.
This system is particularly true for People with phobias - be it with a fear of confined spaces, of driving a car or of animals such as large dogs or spiders. Such people react more violently to phobic stimuli than people without these fears.
From the psychology it is known that fears grow the more one avoids the triggers. That goes up to the total blockade.
Many of these fears are total unfounded, often more comfortable excuses.
But others are quite real: Success changes everyone. It usually begins with relationships with friends and colleagues: some continue to accompany you, others turn away - for whatever motive.
With growing success, it increases responsibility. Your own decisions no longer only have an impact on your own life, but increasingly on that of others - because you are a manager or a role model for them.
In doing so, it is inevitable to offend and hurt some people. But that is not final. Everybody can learnto forgive yourself and to ask forgiveness from others.
The certainty about it often takes a lot from the nebulous fear of success.
We see what we fear bigger
This is how the result of a study by the University of Mannheim can be summarized. Psychologists led by Professor Georg W. Alpers from the Otto Selz Institute were able to prove that arachnophobes (fear of spiders) perceive spiders earlier and longer than healthy people. According to the researchers, it is the first study to scientifically prove that the world and how we perceive it (in this case, anxiety patients) is in the eye of the beholder. For example, people with spider phobia report that they perceive the animals to be larger, more impressive and more threatening. The experiments also showed that emotions such as fear seem to have a major impact on which image enters our conscious perception.
And what we fear we see - earlier, longer, bigger. A fallacy is possible, but a crippling one that can be contained by being aware of this: fears and risks sometimes look greater to us than they are.
Or as Anaïs Nin once said so beautifully: "We don't see the world as it is, but as we are."
Tips to overcome fears
An essential step, this one Overcome fear, is - as with every adolescence - to be clear about what one is afraid of:
- Is the scenario realistic?
- What feelings am I trying to avoid?
- What guarantees do I have today?
- Is the status quo really better?
The clearer the picture becomes, the more dissolve diffuse worries on. I'm not talking about a 5 minute analysis! Really take yourself for this time - at least one day, better a weekend or longer. After all, it's about your future.
It is often the case that people who are afraid of their success do not have a clear picture of what constitutes this in the first place.
You might be telling yourself you want twice as much money earn as before or when I make my own boss then I made it.
But you are your own boss today because you can decide for or against something at any time. And money is a strong one though Motivator, but what do you associate with it: more freedom? More luxury? More prestige?
Even if you are supreme Expectations In terms of yourself, you may never be satisfied with yourself and, as a result, never be happy. Depending on what your definition goes, you can get a lot happier with smaller results.
Success - in the end, that is always one Decision of will. And the end of every fear begins with two words: I will!
The essence of fear - a parable
The wind blew icy flakes in their faces. The ground was frozen solid and the snow crunched over it with every step. The ten masseurs were on their way through the mountains. Homeward. All ten were blind and helped themselves as best they could through the narrow mountain pass. But her legs were trembling with fear. Every step was a step into the unknown. And even if they knew the way, they knew about its dangers and many a lurking abyss.
Half of the way was already behind them, when the man at the head of the ten stumbled and fell. The other nine were frozen with shock and shouted desperately, “For God's sake! What a misfortune! "Then they heard the voice of their colleague a few meters lower:" Don't be afraid. I haven't done anything to myself. I feel much better now! Because I'm not afraid anymore. Before I fell, I thought: what if I crash? So I was terrified. But now I am very calm. If you too want to put your fear aside, rush down to me! "
The story comes from Japan, from the early 18th century and the book Hagakure. The way of the samurai. In it, the former samurai Tsunetomo Yamamoto, who converted to a hermit monk, collected around 1,300 pieces of wisdom, lessons and anecdotes from his era. Most of them deal with overcoming fears and resistance. It is not known whether this story actually happened or is just a narrative. But it vividly documents the nature of fear and how to overcome it.
Making decisions, whether as an entrepreneur, manager or employee, is always a path into the unknown, sometimes even a blind step. What paralyzes us is not the fear of the next step, but of the unknown abyss, the fall, the risk of failure. This abyss often looks much larger in the imagination than it really is. So it is good to continue courageously despite your knees being soft. Who then actually falls, often notices how useless the worry was before. Falling every now and then can be a wholesome thing.
Or as Yamamoto wrote: “When you get into an awkward or difficult position, it is not enough to say that you are not afraid. Overcome your fear and storm forward bravely and joyfully! Remember the saying: the more water, the higher the boat. "
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